Theft
June 11, 2004
bs"d
I left the sauna and mikveh totally rejuvenated. "Gevalt" was the only word to describe the experience. Then I noticed my wallet was stolen. Gam zu letovah.
My first thought was of the person who took it and what their lot must be like in order that they were compelled to steal. I would gladly had over all the money I had in there (which happen to be a substantial amount, as I made a large withdrawl yesterday) if only to eliviate the emptiness they must feel.
Then I made a mental survey of the items inside and quietly bemoaned the tasks that would be added to my already ambitious pre-Shabbos list. I'm not particularly attached to anything that was in there, but I now have several literal and metaphoric beaurocratic lines to stand in.
I also considered that last night, when I had an incredibly powerful prayer experience at the Kotel, I felt that in order to be "brought inside" it was davka necessary that I remove my wallet from my person. I don't know if it was the money, or rather that the wallet itself was leather. It's going to be a consideration for the next wallet I buy. (Incidentally, about an hour before the theft, I restated my intention to my chevrusa that I wanted to by a purse exclusively for tzedakah.)
I also remembered that I had some dollars in there that were given to be to give to the poor -- I was waiting until the end of my trip to give them away, the custom being that if you're on a holy mission, you're protected.
In the end, though, I think the ikar of this experience is to remind me how I felt at the beginning of my last relationship. I was confronted with me'ilah -- the Biblical injuction against embezzlement, taking something that doesn't belong to you. And now, that I'm in the midst of a new relationship opening, the import of Do Not Steal comes to mind. I must move with the intention of God's Intention.
We're given so many blessings in the world. But as the Priestly Benediction begins, God will bless and protect you -- once the blessing is poured into the vessel, the vessel must be guarded.
So too with the energy I put into this relationship. What I pour out from my heart is precious and must find a safe secure space to stay. I want to be received.
I also need to deepen my own capacity for earning and saving. I've played dumb when it comes to money up until this point; Thank God all my needs have been provided for. But I need to step up to have greater responsibility for what I generate energetically in the world, because, with God's Help, I should be making more, to give more, to build more, to give more.
As the Koran says, "Trust in Allah, but tie your camel."
Gam Zu Letovah -- off to assemble food....
Shabbat Shalom u'Mevorakh.
Posted June 11, 2004 03:44 PM
©1996-2005 sixthirteen.org All Rights Reserved.