Ascent, Descent
israel | April 29, 2004
Wow wow wow.
My flights (through Zurich) were incredibly long in warped relative time. I slept less than an hour. Watched Mona List Smile and Lost in Translation. The Swiss plane had "nose" and "down" cameras, so you could view the flight-in-progress from your seat. Landing felt like a video game.
I tried to convert my leftover currency into new bills, but they were too old to do so -- I have to find a certain bank near the Kinneset. I remember the first time I visited here, when I was nine, there was also old currency -- coins. Interesting how the outmoded circulates with the modern here.
I remember this city. Mahane Yehuda flooded familiarly, except the teenage Israeli soldier playing games on her cellular phone -- her machine gun longer than her spine -- wasn't sitting there the last time I was her (she was also probably eight years old at the time).
I made it to local night time and passed out. I woke up at 5:45 with the sunrise and davenned for what felt like 45 minutes. Twice that elapsed. I heard Jerusalem resonate through the text differently. And "Kel Yaakov/Elokai Yisrael"....
Went on a walking adventure. Got intentionally lost in Mea Sharim, then headed towards the Kotel. Mapless, I entered through the Lion's Gate, circled the Old City through all four quarters, then arrived at the mid-day-bright Wall. Again, the soldiers examining my pocket contents and journal were a disconnect.
Davenned mincha then descended into the tunnels to the left on the men's side. I'm not sure what this area is called, but it made a very strong impression on my the first time I ever visited. I sat there for about half-an-hour. Watched one Rav repeatedly bring in visitors, have them peer over a locked door (further into the tunnel), light candles, touch them on the head, bless them. I saw another man tending reviving spices to some other men fervently studying. I watched four or five different mincha minyanim, one 100+ men strong. It was stirring, but simultaneously felt a bit disconnected.
I ate a slow meal in a Muslim restaurant -- it's wonderful to go "in disguise" by tucking in my tzitzit and wearing a neutral headcovering. It's so polarized here. I could feel my heart clenching closed in reaction the fear, anger, hostility that wafts through the city. The heart-opening muscle is one that will get most excersize here.
I wandered up through the Ben Yehuda street area. Realized Jerusalem is like a burn vicitim who you're visiting in the hospital right after she's had Her bandages removed. "How do I look?" she asks before seeing Her reflection. It's all in your response....
Walked through the Azma'ut Gardens, up Yafo to Aggripas. Trafic and diesel and honking and shouting -- I realize I have a thing for Beautiful Maniacs. This city is a Beautiful Maniac. But I want to Learn from my past relationships so I'm trying to keep in my consciousness:
I can't change Her problems; I can Listen lovingly and attentively; I must stay grounded in my own practice; Her mania can overwhelm -- stay calm, hear the third story; love through Her crazyness; there's no one to blame; everything works out Fine....
Tomorrow I'm going towards Be'er Sheva, viewing the solar/straw-bale medical Clinic Bustan L'Shalom built last year, meeting Bedouin'im, spending the day in recognized and unrecognized villages in the Negev.
Then my first Shabbos here in a decade! BIG LOVE.
Posted April 29, 2004 03:03 PM
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